Week 23: The People That "Made" Me

My dad:
He is the most important person in my life. he has raised me... loved me... understood me... raised my character... taught me right from wrong... gives me hope when the road ahead looks like a dark storm... gives me love when i feel alone... gives me stability when all else has failed me... i truly dont know what i will do when i wont be able to talk... hug... see my dad...

My mom:
My mom has her own problems to worry about. yes, she was there the whole time i grew up .... she says she loves me and she thinks about me... she helps out with some things i need... she tries to keep me apart from her own mistakes... but i keep asking myself "was she really there? does she really love me? does she help out because she feels bad that she isn't the mother i always needed and wanted? does she keep me out of her messes because she is really messed up and doesn't want to mess me up? the reasons for why i have strong opinions about certain things is because those opinions defend my scars. I am emotionally affected by the actions of those around me. I carry the burden and the potential treasure of having a blessed heart.

People that make more mistakes and sins than me:
I learn from other poeple's mistakes as well as my own. i try to act better than everyone else becuase i want to be a better person. sometimes i find myself lower than i should be and try to work my way back up... it sounds stuck up but i dont think "Im better than you" i think "i need to be better". i set high expectations of myself, others, and life. maybe that is why i get hurt so much... i will most likely get smarter with what i care about. but for now, i care about everything.....

People that have gone through most of everything and still shine bright:
I am fueled with hope and love when i meet someone that has high morals, is a good person, treats people and themselves right, loves everyone around them, and still is true to their selves even after all they have been through. I run on happiness and love. i wish i knew more people who could offer it to me......

My deceased grandma:
I hear so many good, sad, and bold things about my grandma. i grew up with no female model to follow and if my grandma were still alive, she would be that model. she was kind, smart, thoughtful, loved those around her, cared about more than what she approved of... she was strong, brave, loving.... i miss her. i have "flash back dreams" about her when i was younger... i miss her sooooo much.... i believe that we will all see the deceased one day. and my memory and others memories of her make me accept the idea of death and hope it will come in a desired time and way.........